hidi family

life

2011-08-12T00:45:00.002-04:00

i haven't blogged in forever but i can't sleep. it has become a regular thing. it really sucks because i love sleep.

so i am pondering how to say goodbye to someone i loved for a long long time. i have shared many happy and great times with this person. i have shared some deep sorrow with this person as well. we have brought life into this world 3 times. we have watchws one of our children suffer from health problems since birth and it will be a lifetime of struggles. we have celebrated each milestone of our 3 beautiful children together and learned to really cherish our middle child's milestones.

the past 3 years we have lived separately and it has been one of the hardest things i have ever been through. it breaks my heart to see him walk out the door each evening. and everytime he misses something with the kids (their good morning hugs, falling asleep in my arms, the need to just snuggle with their parent) its breaks my heart even more.

i dont understand how anyone choses someone over their kids. i have tried so hard not to have hatred and tried so hard to keep my anger at bay. but as time goes on i am finding it harder and harder to do so. i find myself filled with so much rage and anger and i feel the hatred deep within me.

today was a great example of this - everything he said i just wanted to slap him - it was like he was on my last nerve and just kept jumping up and down on it. and the sad thing is - he wasnt really doing anything to make me feel that way.

we had this agreement - no overnight visitation - no one of the opposite sex (unless family) could be around our kids --- he wanted to see the kids every day - i agreed but on the condition of him getting his life together --- he did it for a while --- then he went back on certain parts of getting his life together --- i pretended not to notice because the kids didn't want to stop seeing him every day --- but as time went on he stopped seeing them every day --- he always had something "work related" to do (which was probably true sometimes but the other times it was because of the other person) - and this summer the kids have been gone a lot staying with my grandparents

so - now that school is starting --- does he want to see the kids every day anymore? we did pick up and move 45 mins away so it is not a quick drive --- is this our chance to say goodbye???

he broke the terms of our agreement - he kept some and broke others - still a broken agreement - so at the end of this life --- is it worth losing your relationship with your kids? is it worth missing those little moments/milestones that turn into huge moments/milestones?

i think he really believes that he can be a "part time" dad and that our kids will never notice or care....but dont our kids deserve a "full time" dad --- he thinks he is miserable without the other person in his life --- would it not be more miserable without the kids???

so i guess that is the million dollar question --- who are you more miserable without? your kids? or someone who takes you away from your kids?

breaking your family's heart -- just doesn't seem worth it

Summertime

2009-07-12T00:37:00.003-04:00

Well the Hidi household just celebrated Noah's 6th birthday! Wow! Where have the years gone? We just got back from our family vacation. This year we went to Savannah and Tybee Island. Not to far from home but far enough. Things are crazy at our house like always. Its been a while since I posted so here are a few updates.....Daddy is busy working like always and so am I. Noah just had his birthday and we are getting ready for the birthday party coming up next weekend. He will be starting first grade in a month. Alexander had tubes put in his ears a month ago and his speech has improved tremendously. He is taking private OT therapy every week. We love our OT therapist. She really works with Alexander in all areas. He will go back to special needs preschool in a month as well. He will pick up his speech and physical therapy. We took a break this summer. We have worked with him ourselves along with our OT therapist. The tubes were the best thing ever for Alexander. He is really starting to talk a lot and repeats everything he hears. Not sure why no one ever mentioned tubes to us before but thank god for the OT who did. He is becoming quite the talker. We always dreamed of it....some dreams do come true. Katherine Grace...what can be said about her...she is a daddy's girl and spoiled rotten to the core. She wants what she wants...when she wants it...no excuses from anyone...if daddy tells her no it is like her heart has been broken into thousands of pieces. She is busy walking and into everything. She wants to do whatever her older brothers are doing. What else is there to say but that we are taking each day as it comes and cherishing every moment....life is good

long and emotional day

2008-10-20T21:37:00.002-04:00

We went to court today. Don't really want to get into the specifics because its personal. Its weird how something you worked so hard at for so long can be over just like that. Well I guess its not really over but I don't really know what the correct term is to use. Its a relief in some ways to have some kind of arrangement or some term to call what we are now. Its very sad in other ways. I never thought we would be here in this place. How did we get here? Why are we here? Where did it all go wrong?

Noah is busy with school. He is learning lots of new things and learning what it is like to have homework. He has been sick this past week. He went to his first fall festival this past weekend. He had lots of fun!

Alexander is busy with therapy. He is learning new words and busy practicing his new words. He had fun at Noah's fall festival. He loves to help with his sister. He brings wipes and diapers. Always has to blow bubbles on her tummy at diaper changing.

Katherine is trying to walk. She moves along the couch and goes from the couch to the coffee table. She pulls up on everything.

It is crazy like always in the Hidi household!

I love fall!

2008-10-10T22:10:00.004-04:00

Fall is one of my favorite seasons! I love the leaves turning colors, taking the kids to the pumpkin patch and the realization that the holidays are fast approaching. Noah is doing very well at school. He is getting use to having homework. He is looking forward to his fall festival. He is dealing with a lot right now. I wish I could take all his hurt and pain away. I asked Andi today...how did we do this to our kids? how did we get here?....the million dollar questions. I have been praying a lot about finding the strength to keep things as normal as possible and the wisdom to have some good answers when Noah asks those tough questions. Alexander is doing GREAT! Words are coming much easier now. He is constantly expanding his vocabulary. Each new words makes me swell with pride. His personality is really starting to show. He is so loving, laid back and full of life! I am believing more and more each day that school will do wonders for him. He still loves "bear". Andi and I made him a build bear when he was little. He goes no where without "bear". When he momentarily forgets where "bear" is, he starts yelling "bear" "bear". Almost like he thinks "bear" is going to say "here i am". He loves "bear". But if you take the bear's shirt off....he will not go near his bear. Which I find very interesting. Katherine is into EVERYTHING and has a HORRIBLE TEMPER. She cut 4 teeth in the last 2 days and she has a little cold. She has not been in the best of moods but add that temper to it and she is a MESS! She wants what she wants when she wants it and no questions ask. I have been extremely busy with keeping the house picked up, washing, running all the errands, taking care of the kids and work. Work has slowed down a lot. Hoping the economy turns around soon. I work for Wachovia. Need I say more. Everyone has seen the news! So things are crazy at work. I am working hard at staying on good terms with Andi for the kids sake and well we were together for six years so I do still care about him. I am trying to move on with my life and make new dreams and plans. Trying to figure out things and how I am going to manage on my own with three kids. I am exhausted physically and emotionally. My family doesn't really live close and my friends have their own families. My in-laws don't really live close either. We moved to this town to be in the middle of both our families. Thinking it wasn't such a good idea now that I am alone with 3 small children but I am trying to make the best of it. I will say that my friends, my family and my in-laws have been great. They have all been very supportive and helped in so many ways. They take time to call and check on us, call and just chat with me, invite us over for dinner, or invite us over and go doing something with kids and let me rest. We will survive this. Whatever the future holds the Hidi Family will survive and be stronger.

5 months later

2008-09-21T08:42:00.005-04:00

Wow. I haven't been on this blog in forever. So much has happened. I will start with the youngest of the family. Katherine is almost 8 months old. She is crawling everywhere and starting to pull up on the furniture. She is such a joy. She follows the boys everywhere and laughs and squeals. Alexander is continuing his physical, speech and occupational therapy. He finally said mama and daddy. Then he started saying nana, papa, and gjyshi. He can now say head, ear, nose, sister, and brother. YAY!!!! He is finishing up with the Babies Can't Wait program over the next few months and then will start in the public school system in their special needs preschool. I think it will do wonders for his social skills. Noah started Kindergarten in August. He loves it! He has learned so much. He is learning what sounds all the letters make, how to write the letters (upper and lower), and about his senses. He loves going to specials (computer lab, art, p.e.). He loves going to the library and checking out books. The kids are growing and changing every day. I am still working at the bank. Business is slow due to the economy. I have been sick with kidney stones and a kidney infection. They found a large mass on my liver that I have to have checked out. Let's pray it is nothing serious. I am exhausted from raising three kids alone. Andi recently moved out. We are going through a legal separation. It's the hardest thing I have ever been through. It's hard when you love someone so much and you wake up one day all alone and all the dreams and plans you had made with this person are gone. Katherine and Alexander don't really understand what is going on but Noah does. He asks questions and they are hard to answer because I am not even sure of the answers. My family and Andi's family have all really been there for me through all of this. I don't know what the future holds for Andi and me but I am trying to stay on good terms with him for the kids sake. It is hard when sometimes I get so angry at him for walking away from us. I do feel better about the fact that I have finally forgiven him for all the past mistakes and realized all the past mistakes I have made. The mistakes that are being made right now is another issue all together. I hope that one day I can also get past those mistakes as well. It hurts to love someone but have to let go of it all.

I can't believe its April!

2008-04-07T22:56:00.002-04:00

Its been a hectic around the Hidi household. Last Sunday night, Alexander had the stomach virus and threw up all in his bed. Then he gave it to Noah. Noah threw up all in his bed last Monday night. Noah had to stay out of school on Tuesday and Wednesday. Last Tuesday, I was sick with the stomach virus. On Wednesday, I had to register Noah for Kindergarten. I can't believe my little boy is going to Kindergarten. N and P came to stay with the kids while I went to register Noah. I was hoping that the boys didn't give the stomach virus to N and P. When Katherine was born, Noah gave N the flu and she was sick for over a month. The kids had fun with N and P. They miss them. (N and P are my grandparents) Wednesday evening Nana and Gjyshi came over with Moma and E. The boys were excited to play with cousin E. They all ate dinner together. On Friday, the kids and I went to see Andi inducted into the honor society at his college. YAY! So proud! It was a bad idea to take the kids. Alexander could not sit still. Finally, I had to stand outside the auditorium and look through the door. I guess the important thing was that I was there! Of course, I tried to take pictures but the battery was dead in my camera. We went to Nana and Gjyshi's after that. The kids stayed there while Andi and I went to Aiko to have sushi. I LOVE SUSHI!!!!! Aiko has happy hour from 5:30 to 7:30. Where their sushi is really cheap (2-5). We ate 5 different kinds for 25.00. That is a deal! We had to go pick up X so that him and Andi could go to work. Saturday I took Andi to school and then came back so Alexander could have occupational therapy. It was an interesting first session. Once Andi got out of school we ate lunch at Moe's. Then we decided to go the World of Coca Cola. It was so much fun. They have moved to a new building. It was hard to navigate through all the road closures in Atlanta. They are still trying to repair the damage from the tornado that ripped through the heart of the city. Noah loved the World of Coca Cola. Alexander liked the video. Both of the boys liked trying all the different kinds of drinks from all over the world. Some of them are good but call me old fashion or what I still love my Diet Coke! After we had seen everything, it was time to go. On the way out everyone gets a coke in a glass bottle. So now we have 5 Coca Cola's in glass bottles for souvenirs. On Sunday, we did nothing. We stayed in our pajamas all day. Sometimes its nice to do nothing. Noah is on Spring Break this week. Andi accidentally woke Noah up this morning for school. Glad I woke up to remind him that it was Spring Break! Today was full of washing clothes. What an exciting way to start my week off!

Weekend

2008-03-31T18:38:00.003-04:00

Well I had a fabulous weekend. It was our anniversary. My lovely husband took me to lunch, then for an hour massage, pedicures and then finally a very nice dinner. It was time for the gift. I have been wanting a dog so bad. He took me to the pet store but they didn't have the puppy I wanted. We came home and got ready and went to Leopard Lounge to hear our friend X play. Finally, we went to the Waffle House at midnight! LOL! We made it back home around 1ish and we got to sleep in until 11:30 in the morning! Then we had to get up and go get our kids. We did stop for lunch on the way. We had a great weekend and we went 24 hours without any kids. We are still looking for a puppy. I really want a Yorkie Poo or a Miniature Dachshund.

Updates

2008-03-26T12:58:00.004-04:00

The Hidi family has been running around like crazy here lately. Noah is learning all kinds of interesting stuff at school and bringing home pictures of treasure maps. I am not sure where he learned about pirates and treasure maps. Alexander is busy with his therapies and is into everything. Katherine is almost 2 months old now and goes to the doctor on Friday. She is staying awake more during the day and eating like crazy. I am still on maternity leave and enjoying every moment of it. Andi is busy with his 2 jobs and school. He was invited to join the honor society! YAY! We had a good Easter. Busy as is every holiday. We went with my mom to church and then ate lunch at my aunt's. The kids hunted Easter eggs. Noah found a ton of eggs. Alexander just wanted to pick them up and throw them. Katherine had no idea what was going on. That evening we went to Andi's mom and dad's. We ate and Noah hunted eggs with E. Alexander wasn't interested.

exhaustion

2008-03-15T01:38:00.003-04:00

Today we went to see the doctors and specialists at Emory Genetics. We got there at 9 and left at 1. It was a long morning full of meeting all different people. At first we met with the developmental pediatrician, Dr V. She talked to us for about an hour and half and Alexander played with all the interesting new toys he had never seen before. Then we met with the genetics counselor, Ms. O. She did our family tree and showed us all kinds of charts and explained that Alexander has 200 and 230 repeats. Katherine has 30 repeats so she is okay. Alexander has a mosaic form of Fragile X, which means that not all the protein is cut off (if i understand correctly). Then we met with Ms K from research. She did a cotton swap test on me to determine how many repeats I have. She also talked to us about Dr. Warren (instrumental in the discovery of fragile x gene and continues research at Emory where is the Chairman of the Department of Human Genetics) and the research being done at Emory. We met with the school psychology about developmental daycares designed for children with special needs, about the transition from the Babies Can't Wait program into the school system and offered to help us get information about our county's special education program. It was a long day and a day full of information. A bit overwhelming. Alexander did very well until it was time for them to do the examination. He does not like strange people touching him. After we left Emory, we picked up Katherine from N's house and headed to get Noah from school. Once we picked up Noah we came home and all of us took a 3 hour nap! Andi and I are physically and emotionally exhausted today. But tomorrow Andi's grandmother is coming from Europe! It will be the first time she has since Katherine. I love Andi's grandmother! She is so precious. She doesn't speak English and I don't speak Albanian but we still communicate! Grandmothers are so very special!

Tired

2008-03-12T18:15:00.003-04:00

Alexander slept until 10:45 this morning! Can you believe that! I kept checking on him because he never sleeps that late. Once he got up, I had to get his diaper changed and clothes on so we could go get lunch before his therapy at 12:15. I got us out the door by 11:30 and we were headed to get some lunch. Alexander's therapist called and said she had a cancellation and wanted to know if she could come early. I said sure. I went through the drive thru at Wendy's and hurried back home. Alexander ate his lunch while I picked up the living room. My house always seems to be a disaster when the therapist is coming. Its so embarrassing! Luckily, it doesn't seem to bother her and she understands I have 3 kids and a husband to pick up after. Therapy went well today. I think it is better to do the therapy when Noah is at school. Alexander seems to focus better. We usually do therapy on Friday afternoons at 2. I think for now we may change to mornings earlier in the week. But once I go back to work we will have to move it back to Friday. After I picked up Noah from school, we went to the grocery store. Just let me say I love Publix! I had to pick up formula (i forgot how fast that stuff goes), milk, fruits, and something for dinner. I bought stuff to make a cheesecake for my husband. The nice bag boy helped me to my car. I pushed the kids and he pushed the groceries. I get the funniest stares while I am pushing my 3 kids around the grocery store. You know those looks like "You poor woman venturing to the grocery store with 3 small children." He will be surprised I am cooking dinner and making his favorite dessert. This afternoon Alexander and Katherine both took a nap around 5. Alexander climbed up in the rocking chair and rocked himself to sleep. Poor little boy! He was so tired! Alexander and Katherine are still sleeping and I am helping Noah write his alphabet and listening to the news. I apparently watch the news to much because Noah says, "Not Fox News again mama" LOL!

2008-03-06T14:58:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted in a while. Life has been busy as always in the Hidi household. Noah has been studying Dr. Seuss this week at school. Wednesday was Funky Wednesday. They got to dress up in weird ways. Noah wore his shirt inside out and backwards and rolled up one pants leg. He really didn't want to dress up like a character from Dr. Seuss (apparently, none of the other kids did either). Alexander is feeling better and had speech therapy yesterday. It went really well this week. YAY! We finally have a occupational therapist coming to work with him. I know our speech therapist is glad because she has been trying to help us with speech and occupational therapy until we could find someone. We are going to back off on the physical therapy for a while and Andi and I will continue to work with him in that area. Alexander actually signed yesterday. YAY! Sometimes he is stubborn and refuses to sign. Katherine is still sleeping through the night. YAY! She is getting use to her rowdy brothers. If Alexander would quit poking her in the eye, she would really like him. I am feeling better. Thank goodness. Andi is busy as always. Working like crazy. It has been spring break for him. So he has been home more this week. Andi is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Thank goodness everyone is over being sick just in time for me to take care of Andi.

go away

2008-03-01T00:06:00.003-05:00

Sickness needs to go far far away. I received a phone call today from N and P that Alexander was sick. It may be selfish but my first thought was thank god i have already had my massage. (thanks lauren!) So off to R-town to pick up Alexander. We get there and he seems to be feeling better. On the way back home, all 3 kids fall asleep. YAY! We get home and Andi turns right around and has to leave to go to study group for Calculus (exam tomorrow at 8 a.m.) and then is going to deejay. Well Alexander had other plans for us all. He wakes up as soon as Andi leaves. He is burning up so I take his temperature. Its 100. Not bad but not good. He starts crying, pulling at his ears, his nose is running and it is hard for him to swallow. He hasn't really had anything to eat or drink today. I give him some medicine. About an hour later he seems even hotter. I take his temperature again and its 102.4! Definitely not good. I proceeded to try to find someone who can help me. I need to take Alexander to Scottish Rite but Noah and Katherine are sleeping. I don't really want to have to take all 3 of them and it will not be easy trying to see the doctor with all 3 of them. Well my luck is...drumroll.....it becomes apparent that I will be going to Scottish Rite by myself with 3 kids. YAY for me! My brother was going to come help me but he left his keys at work so his boss was taking him back to the job site then back home. It was taking to long due to Friday evening traffic. I knew Alexander had to get to the doctor ASAP with his temperature. So I feed Katherine and get her changed. I get Alexander changed and wake Noah up. I get everyone in the car and then Andi saves the day. He is leaving study group. We met at Scottish Rite. As we are getting out of the car, two things happen. First, Alexander throws up and second, it starts to rain. Go figure! Once we are inside and I get him signed in, we proceed to wait and wait some more. Finally, a nurse comes out and said, "Lucas". No one gets up and she keeps calling "Lucas" Finally, I stand up and say my son's middle name is Lucas. She looks at the chart and said, I'm sorry I mean Alexander. So it was our turn! By this time, Alexander's temperature was 103.3. We finally see the doctor. Alexander has the flu! Can you believe it. The first year that neither of the boys get a flu shot and they have both had the flu in the past month. Unbelievable. Andi and I look at each other and immediately say to each other, "Never again will we go without flu shots." To make it a little more interesting, Alexander also has a ear infection. By this time, its 9 and no one has had dinner and Andi still has to go deejay. He heads to work and I head to the Walgreens drive thru pharmacy. The lady tells me it will be 30 minutes. So off to get some dinner. Yes I know its 9:30 and my kids have not had dinner. I am horrible. We are sitting at Sonic eating dinner and waiting on the 30 minutes to be up. Alexander spills his drink all in the car. Unbelievable. We finish our dinner to the tune of Katherine Grace crying. We head back to Walgreens. It takes forever for someone to come to the window and give us the medicine and take my money. Finally we make it home! Katherine eats, gets her diaper changed, and pajamas on and goes to sleep. One down and two to go. I finally get Noah to get his pajamas on while I am changing Alexander's diaper and putting his pajamas on. I get Noah in the bed. Two down and one to go. I manage to get Alexander's medicine down his throat! YAY for me! Finally by 11, everyone is in the bed and asleep! What a day!

one less kid today

2008-02-28T22:07:00.003-05:00

I have been sick this past week with some kind of cold or something. I have felt miserable. It sucks being sick with 3 kids to keep up with. My grandparents came to the rescue! They arrived bright and early this morning to get Alexander. I got Alexander's diaper changed and clothes on. Then I packed his overnight bag and gave him a sippy cup with milk and a bag of Cheerios for the room. He was so excited to be going somewhere especially with N and P. N and P keep Alexander while I work and Noah goes to school. Needless to say N and P have missed Alexander terribly since I have been on maternity leave and he has missed them just as much. God love my grandparents who help me take care of my kids. Once he was out the door, I figured I would definitely get my house clean since N had feed Katherine while I was getting Alexander ready to go. Well my body had a different idea. I took Katherine and laid down in my bed. Next thing I know its 1 in the afternoon. First thought was: Wow I was really tired. Second thought: Oh my goodness I have 30 minutes to get Katherine and me dressed and her feed and get to Noah's school to pick him up. I managed to get to Noah's school on time! Once I picked up Noah we headed to the mall. I needed a new pair of jeans. My jeans that I wear all the time have a huge hole in the knee. I hate spending money on myself so I have been wearing the holey jeans for a week now. Luckily I found a sell at the mall and I got 2 pairs of jeans! YAY! Then we headed to Target, I figured I would buy Noah some cars. I told him we were just having Noah, Katherine and mama time. He thought that was kool. Once at Target, he got his cars and I picked up a baby shower gift for my friend who is due at the end of March. YAY! Our girls will grow up together! Once we got home, I decided I needed to clean something with my "wild" child gone. So Noah and I moved all the furniture out of our living room. I swept and mopped and then we moved the furniture back into the living room but found new places for everything. Mid evening Noah announced it was time for Alexander to come home. He said, "I miss my buddy. I want my buddy to come home." I told him that Alexander would be home tomorrow and it would be okay. He said,"It will be okay when my buddy gets home. Let's go get him." So we called N and P's for Noah to talk to Alexander. Noah told him that he loved him and he said Alexander said that he loved him too. Then we went to dinner at Chili's. After dinner, we played games and then off to bed Noah went. Luckily, Katherine has been a content baby today and I really got to spend some quality time with Noah. Now I sit here tonight and it really hits me how much energy Alexander takes. How much energy it takes to keep up with 3 kids. It was nice to have a break. Thanks N and P.

Great news

2008-02-25T13:03:00.002-05:00

We received news today that our baby girl Katherine does NOT have fragile x. No carrier of the gene! We are very excited about this news. It is a huge relief. Now if he can just find a cure that would help our little boy Alexander.
I am getting sick. That is the last thing that I need. I hate being sick and it makes it worse when I have to keep up with 3 kids.
We had a scare with Noah today. Noah has a severe allergy to nuts. Noah's pre-k does not allow any nuts in their center. We have educated Noah about avoiding nuts. We have managed to only have 1 scare in his entire life and it was when we discovered he was allergic to nuts. But today, a little girl came to school with peanuts in her pocket. The little girl managed to spread them all over the room, step on them and mash them into the carpet and even tried to force one down another little boy's mouth (who is allergic to nuts also). Luckily, Noah knew the right thing to do. He promptly told the teacher and got far away from the little girl and the peanuts. He washed his hands twice. The school called and I went to pick him up. They had vaccummed the room but were afraid they may have missed some and Noah might accidently get into them. Once Noah was in the car and I had looked him over to make sure he didn't have a rash starting, I finally breathed. He proceeded to tell me the story in his own way. He said, "Mama, M brought nuts to school. I told her I was allergic to nuts and that they were nasty. I told her I was telling Mrs. D that she had nuts. Mrs. D had me wash my hands twice. She tried to stick a nut in J mouth. He is allergic to and he told her he was. The nuts were all over home living. Nuts are gross and they smell funny. M got put in time out. Thank goodness I am going home because I don't want to get sick." At least he knew not to put them in his mouth and knew to tell the teacher. Lesson learned - your children do list to you!

Proud moment

2008-02-23T23:25:00.003-05:00

Last night my wonderful husband had his deejaying debut at Runaround Sue's. It was awesome! I was so proud of him. He did a great job and the crowd really got into the music. I wanted to send kudos to my wonderful husband for many reasons 1) he is a great daddy to our 3 wonderful children 2) he works hard at both his jobs 3) he goes to school full time to finish his BA and then plans to attend law school 4) he is a great deejay 5) his life is hectic but he manages to make time for his family 6) he is following his dreams 7) he is a wonderful husband

Much love to him

Life is taking a different path

2008-02-20T15:38:00.004-05:00

Our live is changing for the better. Andi has gotten a new awesome opportunity. For those of you who don't know, Andi deejay's on the weekends. He has being deejaying since before I met him. It is actually how I saw him for the first few times. He deejayed my sorority's Christmas formal, my sorority's Moonlight and Roses formal and our 80's crush party. Once Noah was born and we moved to Atlanta, he stopped. Not because he wanted to, it just happened. Music is his passion. When we bought our house and moved again, he got the opportunity to go work for a deejaying company. He jumped at it and has worked there for 2 years. They do weddings, birthday parties and company parties. He loves it. Business has been slow due to many reasons and he has not being deejaying as much. He got the opportunity to deejay on Friday's morning on Dreamscape Radio. (Check DJ EuroAndy out at http://www.dreamscaperadio.com/ ) Through doing this, he has meet a lot of DJ's across the country. Talk about great networking. Through the radio station, he has met a local DJ who deejays at clubs all over the metro Atlanta area. Now my husband has the opportunity to do many things 1) deejay - one of the loves of his live 2) make awesome money 3) have fun. So Andi has left his previous deejaying company to go work for the new company. Every Friday night, my husband will be at Runaround Sue's doing his thing. I am so proud and happy for him! Eventually, he will be at Diamond Dave's on Sunday nights. If you live in our area, come this Friday and check out my awesome husband, DJ EuroAndy, doing what he loves.

Messy boy!

2008-02-19T13:50:00.002-05:00

Well, Alexander has been really messy these last few days. He has managed to pour a whole new box of Cheerio's out in the living room floor this morning. He has emptied out the bin that has all the games, coloring books, and puzzles in it all over the kitchen floor. He has emptied the bag of m&m's all over the dining room floor. It takes him a matter of seconds to get a hold of something and have it all over the floor and he always waits until I am trying to go to the restroom, change my clothes, feeding Katherine, or on the phone. Spanking him means nothing. It is like a stimulus to him. We have being using a time out chair. You would think we were torturing him by the way he cries and looks at you with those huge blue eyes and long black eyelashes. Katherine slept through the night on Sunday. Andi and I thought "Wow, it only took 3 weeks!" We were wrong. Last night she was up every 3 hours just like always. Yesterday afternoon, we went to the park. It is a new park near our house. It has an outside trail that is a mile long, an inside trail that is half a mile long, and a huge playground. We walked on the outside trail. Noah rode his bike. I was so proud! It was a big deal for him to ride for an entire mile. Alexander and Katherine rode in the wagon. Our wheel is broke on the double stroller so we put the carrier in one end of the wagon and Alexander sat in the other end. Alexander loved the walk. The boys love the outdoors and they have not been able to go out due to it being so cold. Hopefully, we can go back this weekend and the boys can play on the playground.
On another note, I had friends come visit yesterday. It was great! To have adults to talk to and have grown up conversations. Thank goodness for good friends! It makes life better.
My mom came this past Saturday and kept the kids for Andi and I to go out. We went to the mall, ate at Red Lobster (had cheesecake for dessert!) and went to the movies (27 dresses). It was great! We had such a good time. It was nice to be able to get away just the 2 of us even if it was just for a little bit.
Things are great here! We are all getting adjusted to Katherine and she is getting adjusted to us. We are becoming comfortable in our family of five!

Frustration

2008-02-12T15:46:00.000-05:00

Katherine had her first real bath last night. The umbicial cord finally fell off. We got everything ready...the bathtub had water, the "i love daddy" hooded towel, the washcloth, Johnson's bdoy wash, rubber duck that tests the water, camera and video camera. I got her undressed and in the tub and Andi started to video her first bath (just like with the boys) and what happens....the video camera stops working. What!!!! Unbelieveable. How is it when you just want to capture this first event the video camera stops working. Its our last baby or last first bath and the video camera stops working. At least the camera worked. Alexander was really tried from getting up at 6:30 and only having a one hour nap. He went to bed early. Noah had a meltdown because he didn't want to go to bed. Finally, he fell asleep and I was so ready for bed. I laid down on the pillow and was gone only to be awoken an hour later to feed Katherine. Katherine didn't sleep well or eat well last night. She spit up a lot and I think the diaper was not on tight enough because she wet the bed. Today she has slept well and eat well. Thank Goodness! Alexander has be frustrated today. I can't seem to figure out what it is he wants to eat or drink or play. This frustrates me because this is my little boy and I can't seem to figure out what it is he wants. I spend all morning trying to keep him from being frustrated. Finally, its time to get Noah from school and I am hoping Alexander falls asleep in the car because he has had no nap. He does! Once we get home, I get him in the bed and feed Katherine. Noah and I play until Alexander wakes up and now Noah is crying from frustration. Alexander has pulled out all the trucks and made a mess in Noah's room. Alexander is crying again. All this crying has woke up Katherine. If only I could make all my kids happy and content all the time. Life seems so horrible to them when they don't get what they want how they want it when they want it. Alexander's frustration is the worse. If only he could tell us what he wants and feels. The words are there but he can't figure out how to get them out. All he knows to do is cry. Breaks my heart. Time to figure out what's wrong now

Saturday Life

2008-02-09T18:19:00.000-05:00

This morning Alexander woke up around 8:30. He played in his room and finally made his way to my room. I really wasn't ready to get up but it wasn't long after he came in there that Noah came in my room and Katherine woke up for her 9 a.m. feeding. I let Katherine cry a little bit because Alexander desperately needed a diaper change. It took a little bit longer to clean him up because he decided to stick his hand in the mess. By this time, Katherine was getting really fussy because she was hungry. I got her feed and changed her diaper. It was time to fix the boys and me breakfast but Alexander needed another diaper change. I changed diaper number 3 for the morning and it was only 10. The boys had some Trix cereal and I ate a pop tart. After breakfast, Noah dressed himself and I got Alexander and myself dressed. Katherine was still asleep so I straighten my hair and put on makeup. I can't tell you the last time I got the chance to do either of those things. Andi was finally home from his Calculus class and we got Katherine changed and dressed and feed. We were all hungry and decided to go to Moe's for lunch. The boys ate really well today. Noah finished all of his taco and Alexander even finished all his lunch. We decided to venture to Target and pick up some milk and wipes. We all know that a errand to the store to pick up a few things turns into picking up all kinds of things and spending $100 before you know it. I managed to get the kitchen and dining room swept and mopped. Then I put together a wire crate organizer for Noah's room. Noah helped like always and we managed to organize his room. Maybe he can keep it picked up better now but who knows because Alexander drags everyone's stuff out. Andi took a nap with Katherine and Alexander. Everyone is up now and hungry again. What to do for dinner? Today has been productive! YAY! Tomorrow we are venturing to my hometown to go to church with my mom. Wish us luck! Five people up, feed, dressed and out the door by 9:15ish. Lets hope we don't forget anything and make it out the door on time.

life with 3 kids

2008-02-05T15:54:00.000-05:00

Wow! What can I say about how life has changed over the last week. Katherine eats every 3 hours. So every 3 hours around the clock I am fixing a bottle, watching her eat, burping, changing a diaper and sometimes changing her clothes. In between all that, Alexander is needing his diaper changed and needs his attention and Noah is wanting to read books, play on the computer, play a board game or color. There is never a dull moment. Andi is taking a full load of classes this semester. He leaves around 7 in the morning and is back no later than 8 at night. He is loving having a baby girl. He has been taking Noah to school. It is their one-on-one time. Noah loves to hold his baby sister when he comes home from school and always has some drawing for us. His imagination is wild. He always draws at least one race car or truck and the other picture varies. These past few days have been volcanos. Alexander is still not sure about Katherine. He kissed her for the first time yesterday. It was so cute! We tried to take a picture but we were not fast enough. Sometimes he goes up to her and makes a noise and when she doesn't react he goes on about his business. He continues to say "ook" and "this" and "eady, set, go". Katherine had a check up yesterday and everything was well! She is adjusting well to her extremely rowdy brothers. They don't bother her with all their noise. Thank goodness! I am recovering well from the c-section. I am still a little sore but for the most part feel great. I ventured out today for the first time by myself with all 3 of the kids. OH MY GOODNESS! I went to pick up a few things from Target and it took forever. I got all the kids in the car and double checked the diaper bag to make sure I didn't forget anything (the other day i had everything but a bottle). When I got to Target, I parked beside the cart return so that I could get a cart and not have to try to get 3 kids through a parking lot and try not to get anyone ran over. Once I got everyone in the cart, I realized there was no room for the things I needed to pick up. Once I got into Target, I saw a bigger cart. It had 2 seats attached to the cart. Thank goodness! Problem solved! I transferred all the kids and diaper bag. It is amazing how long it takes to do something when you have 3 kids and you are trying to get them all strapped in and entertained and get what you need. Luckily, our trip at Target was uneventful and we made it back home. Alexander is finally down for his nap, Noah is playing with his cars, and Katherine is asleep. I even got a load of clothes washed! YAY!

going home picture

2008-01-31T14:29:00.001-05:00

Katherine Grace

2008-01-31T14:18:00.000-05:00

She is here!!!!

January 28th at 1:14 pm

7 lbs 3.3 ounces

19 inches long

She is beautiful! We came home from the hospital today. Her weight today was 7 lbs and .3 ounces. Almost back to birth weight.

I attempted breastfeeding this time and it didn't work for us so we are formula feeding but she is healthy and precious. She doesn't really cry. She eats, sleeps and stares at us. We will see how she adjusts to being at home with her two brothers.

Inspiration

2008-01-23T18:26:00.000-05:00

Today is Alexander's 2nd birthday! He has no idea its his birthday but we have celebrated all day. We have sang "happy birthday" over and over and he just dances and laughs. I put 2 candles in a cupcake and he attempted to blow them out. He has been into everything today and played his heart out. I have been reading a book called Fragile X Fragile Hope Finding Joy in Parenting a Child with Special Needs by Elizabeth Griffin. This book is a true inspiration. I want to share some of it here. These statements have really spoken to me about the situation I find my family in.
~Simplicity of his life, wishing I could relax into it with him. Wishing the simplicity could last forever.
~Long before any human being saw us, we were seen by God's loving eyes. Long before anyone heard us cry or laugh, we are heard by our God who is all ears for us. Long before any person spoke to us in this world, we are spoken to by the voice of eternal love. Our preciousness, uniqueness and individuality are not given to us by those who meet us in clock-time-our brief chronological existence-but by the One who has chosen us with an everlasting love, a love that existed from all eternity and will last through all eternity. -Henri J.M. Nouwen
~Looked past me and smiled, as if he saw another world. Shivered in the loneliness of not being seen. Thought back to when his body relaxed into mine. Warmth of him on my chest and clung to it in the coldness of this present isolation. Moments like that were my anchor of hope that we had a connection, that there was a place for me in his world.
~His life would never be what I had imagined it to be, nor would mine
~We have to find the courage to take all the pieces of our lives, our hopes and dreams back to the one who made us and ask him who we are.
~Everything he learned was priceless, everything that made it easier for us to connect was pure gold.
~It is never easy, but there is joy along the way.

I will post more about this book as I get further long. I have done a lot of reflection the last few days about my life and my children's lives. I am not sure what tomorrow holds for us...good or bad....but its fabulous to know that God is taking every step with us. Tomorrow will bring whatever God intends and we will get through. One day at a time!

Happy Birthday sweet angel! I can't believe you are 2.

Alexander's birthday party

2008-01-21T14:03:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Alexander had his 2nd birthday party. It was a dog theme. My brother's girlfriend made Alexander the most beautiful Dalmatian cake. We made balloons that looked like Dalmatians and Andi drew a Dalmatian name Alexander for the kids to pin the tail on the dog. Alexander loved when everyone sang happy birthday and even clapped at the end. I had to help him blow out his candle. He had fun trying to feed himself his cake and even fed some cake to one of my friends! LOL! It was hilarious! He got lots of toys that light up and make noise. Right down his alley! He got a red wagon from my grandparents and I think it is his favorite gift. We have already pushed, pulled and rode many a mile in the last 24 hours! Today was Alexander's two year check up. He weighs 27 pounds and 35 inches tall! Dr. W said he is definitely eating well! LOL! He had to have 1 shot. He was not happy about that. Noah and Alexander both cried! Noah is so sympathetic! Nurse N tried to measure his head but he was having none of that. He doesn't like anyone to touch his head much less Nurse N who he hasn't seen in a while. Dr. W was successful at measuring his head but only after both Dr. W and me held him down. We are now down to 1 week before Katherine joins our family. So much left to do to get ready for her and so little time to do it in. This week will go by fast and it will be a busy week. Noah gets out of school at noon all week. We still have last minute baby things to pick up before Katherine gets here. My niece's birthday party is Saturday. She will be 1! She will finally have a girl to play with come next week. E is fascinated by Noah and Alexander and thinks they are so funny! Sunday is my family's January birthday party. On my mom's side of the family, we have 6 birthdays to celebrate. Andi's, my brother's, my cousin L, my mom's, Alexander's and mine. Next year, we will be able to add another to it. Poor Noah is the only one that is not in January in our family! He doesn't think its fair either!

Craziness

2008-01-19T17:29:00.000-05:00

This has been a hectic week. I was in the hospital a week ago. I thought my water had broke but luckily it hadn't. On Sunday, I had a birthday party for Andi. We went to the Japanese Steakhouse with friends. Andi got to see a friend he hasn't seen in years. We ate great food, sang Happy Birthday and had a cake with the big "26" candle in it. Wednesday was his actually birthday and it snowed! Thursday was my birthday and we went to eat at Longhorn's. I got a beautiful bracelet with my initial's engraved in it. On Friday, I missed work because I was in a lot of pain. Katherine has dropped so low and it is hard to walk. Today was spent getting ready for Alexander's birthday party tomorrow. It snowed again today! What is going on? This is the South. It doesn't snow here! Trying to find Alexander's birthday present was not easy. He will be 2 on Wednesday but can't really manipulate toys that are made for 2 year olds. We buy toys in the 6 month-1 yr range. He only wears a size 12 months in clothes. It makes me sad to buy such small clothes and toys that seem like he should have outgrown but then I remember that my sweet little boy is alive and doesn't know any different. Those toys make him smile, laugh and make playtime enjoyable. Its hard to believe that Alexander will be 2 on the 23rd. Wow, how life has changed in the last 2 years.

Update!

2008-01-16T18:14:00.001-05:00

C-section scheduled for 1:00 p.m. on January 28th!!!!!

Baby Update

2008-01-15T18:13:00.000-05:00

Baby Katherine weighs 6 pounds and 10 ounces. We had an ultrasound today! Her lungs are developed so now we have to just wait until she is ready to enter this world! It was so exciting to see my baby girl's face today. Her cheeks are huge! She is storing food because she knows with 2 older brothers she might have to fight for her food! LOL! Noah went with me to the ultrasound and thought it was very neat to get to see his baby sister.

Interesting day

2008-01-12T11:29:00.001-05:00

We had a very interesting day yesterday! Alexander had physical and speech therapy yesterday. He worked hard at climbing up and down the stairs. He worked on climbing up and down from the chair. He enjoyed the sit and spin toy. He still loses his balance on it but is making improvements. He continued to use the word "ook". It makes us so proud! We have waited two years to hear our little boy say his first word. Every time he says "ook" my heart just swells with pride. He has started saying his second word "this". Its the first step in the process.

Noah had fun at school. It was show and tell and he took his remote control monster truck and his etch-a-sketch. He brought home another interesting drawing. He drew a truck and the entire family. I asked him where was baby Katherine. He politely stated, "She is not here yet". I said "You are correct". He just smiled and walked away.

I had contractions yesterday. They were 10 minutes apart and I thought my water had broke. Off to the hospital we went. My water did not break but the doctor said it could have been fluid. I go to the doctor on Tuesday for an ultrasound. So we will see. We have made it to 35 weeks and 5 days! Its a huge relief. It won't be long a Katherine Grace will be here.

We are headed to Monster Jam tonight. Santa brought Noah 3 tickets. It will probably be the last mommy, daddy and Noah time before the baby gets here. Noah is very excited about going to see Gravedigger but more excited about having mommy and daddy all to himself.

Big News

2008-01-10T22:48:00.000-05:00

On June 29, 2007, we found out we were pregnant again! Unbelievable! It has been an interesting pregnancy. We found out in September we were having a girl! We were expecting it to be another boy but thrilled beyond belief to being having a baby girl. I have been getting progesterone shots from week 20 to week 35 to try and avoid having another preterm delivery. The shots are painful but anything to make sure this baby stays in. I have had some complications during this pregnancy despite the shots. I have been in the hospital for a day with contractions. They were able to stop the contractions and I was put on bed rest at 31 weeks. Today is week 35. I am miserable and ready for our baby girl to be here. My stomach is hard as a rock and she has dropped already. I still have contractions but the closest they have gotten is 15 minutes apart.

Our second son

2008-01-10T21:47:00.000-05:00

Alexander Lucas born Monday, January 23, 2006 at 7:36 p.m.

6 pounds and 1 oz and 17 1/2 inches long

Kennestone Hospital

Born at 32 weeks by c section

My water broke at 31 weeks. I was put on bedrest. A few days later I was put in the hospital. I was having contractions and started dilating. They decided to do a emergency c section. We were absolutely terrified. Alexander was born with the cord wrapped around his neck. It was a scary moment. Alexander had a hard time eating when he was first born. He was only dranking a quarter of an ounce of milk every 4 hours. We worried and asked the doctor on call if this was normal. We were told it was because he was premature. Alexander went home when he was 3 days old. When I called to set up our first appointment with our peditrician and we went for our first visit. Our peditrician quickly informed us that a quarter of an ounce wasn't normal. At that moment we regretted not having Alexander at Piedmont so that our peditrician could have been there from the beginning. Alexander had dropped his weight more than he should have. Dr. Weil changed our formula to the premie formula and changed the calorie intake so that he was getting more calories. Alexander had to go daily for weight checks and kept losing weight. He got down to 5 pounds and was admitted to Scottish Rite. A feeding tube was inserted. It was horrible and gut wrenching. After 5 days in Scottish Rite, Alexander had regained most of his weight and was allowed to go home. The premie clothes were too big for him. He was so tiny! Alexander missed all his milestones. He was 5 months old before he rolled over, 9 months old before he sat up and 14 months before he crawled and 18 1/2 months old before he walked. He walked after 2 months of extensive physical therapy.

Alexander has had many tests and been to many doctors appointments over the last 2 years. He has physical therapy once a month, speech therapy once a week and the speech therapist gives him occupational therapy while we try to find an occupational therapist.

Our son is completely nonverbal and rarely ever points. He cries out of frustration. We don't know what our baby wants and he doesn't know how to tell us.

Recently, our son was diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome. It is an inherited form of mental impairment. It affects 1 in 4000 males. It is an abnormality in a single gene. It is the most common known cause of autism or "autistic-like" behavior. There is currently no cure.

Our precious baby....what does life hold for him?

our first home

2008-01-10T21:34:00.000-05:00

We bought our first home in December 2005. We closed on our house the week before Christmas and got completely moved and unpacked before Christmas. All the time, I was pregnant with our second baby boy! We moved into an older house but it had a lot of new stuff. It had brand new hardwood floors in the living room and hall. Brand new carpet in the bedrooms. New cremiac tile in the bathrooms, dining room and kitchen. New countertops in the kitchen and bathrooms. New appliances. The backyard was fenced in! It was a great starter house.

Noah's life

2008-01-10T21:08:00.000-05:00

Noah has blessed our lives so much. More than we ever imagined possible. He was the "perfect" baby. He reached all his milestones at all the "right" times. He slept through the night at 6 weeks. He was a very laid back baby. He hardly ever cried. He rolled over at 4 months, sat up at 6 months, crawled at 9 months and walked at 1 yr. He is a sponge. He is always watching and listening. He sees it done one time and he can do it. He hears it one time and he is repeating it. He loves trucks, cars and construction stuff. He pretends to build and fix everything with his tools and workbench. He knows everything about cars and trucks. He tells us what kind of trucks and cars we are passing on the road (Look mama, a Dodge). He loves to skateboard and ride his bike. He loves to be read to. He started Pre-K this year and loves every moment of it. He has learned to write his name and spell his name. He can count to 30. Recognizes his numbers and letters. He has a vivid imagination and brings home all kinds of drawings. He loves to spell and ask what the word is. One day we were sitting at the red light and he said mama what does s-u-b-w-a-y spell. I said subway. Noah said "eat fresh". Andi and I died laughing. He is such a joy!

Our first baby

2008-01-10T20:46:00.000-05:00

Our first baby

Noah Bryce - born Tuesday, July 8, 2003 at 1:27 a.m.
6 pounds 15.6 ounces and 19 inches long

I went into labor on July 7 at 12:30 p.m. Andi was at work and I called his cell 3 times in a row and hung up each time. This was our code. He called as he was headed to the car. He was home in less than 10 minutes. We got into the car and started our 3 1/2 hour journey to the hospital. Due to a bad experience at the local hospital, we decided to deliver at Floyd Medical Center in Rome, Georgia. It was the hospital I was born at and my family lived close by. We had already figured out where all the hospitals between Macon and Rome were so that if needed to we could stop. All the way to the hospital, I was having contractions but there were not to painful. We stopped and got gas and went through the McDonald's. When we finally got to Rome, my entire family was sitting there waiting. I was taken up to labor and delivery. I had only dilated to a 2 but since I had drove so far they gave me Pitocin. After hours of being labor, I still was not in to much pain. They broke my water and told me it was my last chance to have an epidural. I decided to have one just in case. After I had the epidural, I dilated to a 10 very quickly. It was time to push. I was starting to really feel the pain now because the epidural had not taken complete effect yet. I pushed for an hour and half. After 13 hours of labor, I delivered the most beautiful baby boy. I never knew how much love you could feel for someone until I held my baby.

The next day

2008-01-10T19:38:00.000-05:00

The next day was Sunday. I slept in and finally got up to work on some homework. Later that day, I went to the sorority house for our chapter meeting. I was greeted at the door by one of my sorority sisters who informed me that she knew someone who wanted to go out with me. I was shocked and asked who. She said Andi. I screamed! I could not believe it. The girls that lived on my hall starting laughing and told how much I had talked about him the night before. I was so embarrassed. After chapter, I went back to my dorm. I sat down and starting thinking about how bizarre this all was. Then I heard my computer ding. Someone had sent me a instant message. It was the girl that I had told me Andi wanted to go out. We start talking about Andi and making small talk just like all girls do about boys. Then she said he was sitting right there. I could have died a million times over. Then she asked if I want to go to eat Chinese with them. I said sure. I am not sure how I ever said that I would go considering how embarrassed I was that I just gone on and on about how cute I thought Andi was and how much fun I had had hanging out with him. Andi and Amanda picked me up at my dorm and we went to King Buffet. Oh how romantic for a first date. We went to a buffet and had another person with us. When we got to King Buffet, I said down and slid over and Amanda sat down on the other side and slid over. I remember thinking if he sits by her I will never date this guy. Luck for both of us, he sat by me. After dinner, I got dropped off at my room. A few minutes later, my phone rang. It was Andi wanted to know if I wanted to run to Walmart with him. Walmart? Random but I wanted to spend time with him and get to know him better so I said sure. A few minutes later, he showed up at my dorm. We went to Walmart. While he bought a mop and other stuff for his apartment, we made small talk. Then in the aisles between the cds, we discovered our birthdays were one year and one day apart. We were both shocked and I thought he was kidding. He showed me his driver license just to prove it to me. Then I told him that my brother had the same birthday as he did. We stayed up the whole night driving around Macon just talking about any and everything. I knew something great was happening! He was so easy to talk to and made me laugh.

How we met

2008-01-10T19:23:00.000-05:00

My husband and I met at the Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon, Georgia. I was a college freshman at Mercer University and he was taking some time off from college and working at Papa Johns. We were working a philanthropy event for our fraternities. We were serving Pepsi drinks to the people at the festival. The two of us and a few more of his fraternity brothers were in a Pepsi booth. There was not a whole lot of room in this booth and we ended up at the same end. We introduced ourselves and then he proceeded to call me Lauren for the rest of the night. While I proceeded to tell him my name was not Lauren it was Heather. We made small talk and flirted back and forth. I sent text messages to my little brother most of the night and it drove him crazy (I found out later) wondering who I was talking to. Finally, we took a bathroom break. As we walked toward the port-a-potties, I wondered what we were doing. Where we harmlessly flirting or would this flirting lead to a first date. On our way back from the bathrooms, he finally asked who I had been text messaging. I told him my brother which I am sure was a relief to him. For the rest of the night, we continued to flirt. Finally, it was time to leave and we said goodbye and went our separate ways. When I got back to campus, some of my sorority sisters and I went over to his fraternity house to hang out. When we walked in the door, I spotted the composite picture hanging on the wall. I immediately went to it and immediately found his picture. I remember thinking why does he spell Andi with an i instead of a y and what is up with his last name. Of course, when you grow up with the last name Jones you tend to think anything a little different is weird. Later that night back in the dorm, a few of the girls on the hall where in a room together hanging out. Some of my sorority sisters were there and I was talking to them about Andi and how much fun we had had. They told me I should ask him out. I immediately stated under no circumstances would I do that. I am too old-fashioned. They just laughed. At the time, I didn't realize it but that laughter meant they would take care of things.